\u00a0Ben y\u00fcr\u00fcyorum, in\u015fallah ba\u015faraca\u011f\u0131m…
\nzulm\u00fcn karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131na dost olmay\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fcyorum asla, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeyece\u011fim…
\nbiliyorum ki, Rabbim ki\u015fi ile kalbi aras\u0131ndad\u0131r, insan ne isterse o verilir kendisine
\nveya onun yolu a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131r… ben yaln\u0131zca Rabbimin raz\u0131 olaca\u011f\u0131 \u015feyler istiyorum ve
\nbunun i\u00e7in gerekli olan, irade-kararl\u0131l\u0131k i\u00e7in yine Rabbime s\u0131\u011f\u0131nmam gereklili\u011finin
\nbilinciyle y\u00fcr\u00fcyece\u011fim…
\nben d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum, y\u00fcr\u00fcyorum, ba\u015far\u0131n\u0131n anahtarlar\u0131 Allah’a s\u0131\u011f\u0131nmada,
\nin\u015fallah ba\u015faraca\u011f\u0131m…<\/p>\n
‘G\u00fcn\u00fc ve geceyi verene hamd olsun…
\nUykuyu ve uyan\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131 verene hamd olsun…
\n\u00c7al\u0131\u015fmay\u0131, yorulmay\u0131 ve ard\u0131ndan dinlenmeyi verene hamd olsun…
\nG\u00fclmeyi ve a\u011flamay\u0131 verene hamd olsun…
\nG\u00f6zlere bak\u0131\u015f, g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f, \u0131\u015f\u0131lt\u0131 ve g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131 verene hamd olsun…
\nHamd olsun hayat\u0131n ve \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn sahibine…
\nHamd olsun \u00fcmidiyi ve korkuyu, birlikte ayn\u0131 y\u00fcrekte var edene…
\nHamd olsun akl\u0131 ve g\u00f6nl\u00fc birlikte insan\u0131n hizmetine sunana…
\nYar\u0131na, her \u015feyimle haz\u0131r olarak do\u011fmam, yar\u0131n\u0131 ta\u015f\u0131yacak
\nenerjiye kavu\u015fmam, haz\u0131rl\u0131ks\u0131z yakalanmamam i\u00e7in
\nyard\u0131m et Rabbim…’
\n(G\u00fcne\u015ften \u00f6nce do\u011fman\u0131n haz\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131d\u0131r bu…)<\/p>\n
‘Allah’\u0131m! Senden i\u015fte sebat\u0131, do\u011fruluk i\u00e7in gayreti dilerim.
\nSenden nimetine \u015f\u00fckr\u00fc, ibadetimi iyi yapmakta yard\u0131m\u0131n\u0131 dilerim.
\nSenden d\u00fcr\u00fcst bir kalp, do\u011fru bir dil dilerim. Senden hakk\u0131mda
\nbildiklerinin en hay\u0131rl\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 dilerim. Hakk\u0131mda, bildiklerinin \u015ferrinden
\nsana s\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131r\u0131m. Hakk\u0131mda bildi\u011fin g\u00fcnahlar\u0131m i\u00e7in senden
\nba\u011f\u0131\u015flanma dilerim.’<\/p>\n
‘Ey ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131 gideren rabbim, senden hayat\u0131n hayr\u0131n\u0131 istiyor
\nve hayat\u0131n \u015ferrinden sana s\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131yorum. Sen, ayd\u0131nl\u0131\u011fa ileten sahibim,
\nbeni ayd\u0131nl\u0131k saatlerde bile \u015fa\u015f\u0131ran \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nlar\u0131n \u015ferrinden koru…’<\/p>\n
‘Yanl\u0131\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fmekten, senin ismini s\u00f6m\u00fcrerek insanlar\u0131
\naldatmak isteyenlerin tuzaklar\u0131na tak\u0131lmaktan sana s\u0131\u011f\u0131nd\u0131m.
\nYanl\u0131\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fersem e\u011fer, uyan\u0131p, do\u011fruyu bulmama yard\u0131m etmen
\ni\u00e7in aff\u0131na s\u0131\u011f\u0131nd\u0131m, aff\u0131n\u0131 hak eden kullar\u0131ndan eyle Yarabbi! ‘
\namin<\/p>\n
-G\u00d6ZYA\u015eLARI-<\/strong><\/p>\n ‘…Uzun senelerden beri ne kadar hasretiz g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131na! .. Onu, bu memleketin ta\u015f\u0131na, topra\u011f\u0131na, evine, m\u00e2bedine sormal\u0131. Sormal\u0131 \u015fu da\u011flara, ta\u015flara ve \u00fczerinde u\u00e7u\u015fan ku\u015flara… Ve b\u00fct\u00fcn bir m\u00e2ziye sormal\u0131, ba\u011fr\u0131na ka\u00e7 damla g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131 d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc. Sonra m\u00e2bedlerdeki s\u00fctunlara, geni\u015f kubbelere ve \u00e7evredeki cidarlara da sormal\u0131, ne zamandan beri h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131\u011fa hasret olduklar\u0131n\u0131. Seccadelere de sormal\u0131, ka\u00e7 defa g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131yla \u0131sland\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131. Bu kadar i\u00e7ten uzakla\u015f\u0131lan, bu kadar g\u00f6n\u00fcle yad kal\u0131nan ikinci bir devir g\u00f6sterilebilir mi? ..<\/p>\n \u015eimdi sizler, ey b\u00fct\u00fcn bir tarih boyunca a\u011flamay\u0131 unutmu\u015flar! Gams\u0131zlar, dertsizler ve a\u011flanacak h\u00e2llerine g\u00fclenler! Gelin; \u015fu \u00e7\u0131kmaz\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131nda durup as\u0131rl\u0131k gams\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131za bir son vererek beraber a\u011fl\u0131yal\u0131m! Cehaletimize a\u011flayal\u0131m! Kaybetti\u011fimiz \u015feylerden habersizli\u011fimize a\u011flayal\u0131m! Kusurdan bir heykel h\u00e2line gelmi\u015f mahiyetimize, duygular\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n dumura u\u011fray\u0131\u015f\u0131na ve hoyratla\u015fan g\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fcze a\u011flayal\u0131m! Bu vaziyette \u00f6lece\u011fimize, \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz gibi dirilece\u011fimize, tasmal\u0131 ve prangal\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fck imtihanda, en b\u00fcy\u00fck merasimde fevc fevc ge\u00e7ecek olan m\u00e2zinin \u015fanl\u0131lar\u0131 aras\u0131nda yer bulamayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131za a\u011flayal\u0131m! Daldan kopan bir meyve gibi, yaln\u0131z d\u00fc\u015f\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fcze, ayaklar alt\u0131nda ezili\u015fimize, rahmetten c\u00fcd\u00e2 kal\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131za a\u011flayal\u0131m! ..<\/p>\n Yukar\u0131lara do\u011fru g\u00fcvercinler gibi kanat \u00e7\u0131rpal\u0131m ve \u00e7ok y\u00fckseklerde \u00f6yle bir ‘\u00c2h! ‘ edelim ki, \u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fcz, g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131ndan meydana gelen bulutlar\u0131 harekete getirsin. Sonra ate\u015fimizi s\u00f6nd\u00fcrecek o damlalar, ya\u011fmurlar gibi ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdan a\u015fa\u011f\u0131ya insin ve ate\u015fimizi s\u00f6nd\u00fcrs\u00fcn. Kin ve nefret ate\u015fini. B\u00fct\u00fcn d\u00fcnya ve ukb\u00e2 ate\u015fini…<\/p>\n Allah\u0131m! Senden diliyor ve dileniyoruz: G\u00f6zlerimize ya\u015f ver ve bizi a\u011flat! Merhamet etmen i\u00e7in. Senden uzak kal\u0131\u015f hasretini duyamay\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131za a\u011flat! G\u00f6nl\u00fcn \u015f\u00e2k \u015f\u00e2k olu\u015funa, a\u011fyar ate\u015fine yan\u0131\u015f\u0131na, \u00f6yle a\u011flat ki, s\u00eeneler keb\u00e2p olsun\u2026 Ondan bir bir feryat \u00e7\u0131ks\u0131n, mele\u011fi ve fele\u011fi velveleye versin.<\/p>\n Beni de a\u011flat; gece kadar karanl\u0131k ruhuma \u015fefkat et de a\u011flat! A\u011flamalar\u0131ma dahi a\u011flamam l\u00e2z\u0131m geldi\u011fi i\u00e7in a\u011flat! B\u00fck\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f \u015fu kaddime, solgun ve \u00f6lg\u00fcn rengime, burulmu\u015f boynuma ve k\u0131r\u0131k k\u00e2lbime merhamet et de a\u011flat! \u015eu en s\u00e2kin anda, s\u0131zlan\u0131\u015flara cevap verdi\u011fin dakikalarda, kapkara g\u00f6nl\u00fcmle de\u011fil, Senden ba\u015fkas\u0131na secde etmeyen ba\u015f\u0131mla sana d\u00f6n\u00fcyor, titreyen dudaklar\u0131mla a\u011flatman\u0131 diliyorum.<\/p>\n Heyh\u00e2t ki ‘merhamet, merhamet’ diyece\u011fim an, bir h\u00e2il gibi g\u00fcnahlar\u0131m kar\u015f\u0131ma dikiliyor ve i\u00e7imde y\u0131\u011f\u0131n y\u0131\u011f\u0131n burkuntu meydana getiriyor. Allah\u0131m! Benim uzakl\u0131\u011f\u0131m itibariyle de\u011fil, Senin yak\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n h\u00fcrmetine k\u00e2lbime rikkat ver ve \u00f6yle a\u011flat ki, kendimi kaybedeyim, yolunda ar ve haysiyetten ge\u00e7eyim, t\u00e2 ‘Bu delidir’ desinler..<\/p>\n ‘Gidip boynumda zincir ile Ravza-\u0131 P\u00e2ka, o denl\u00fc a\u011flayam ben ki, g\u00f6renler hep beni d\u00eev\u00e2ne sans\u0131n’ Ola ki, d\u00fc\u015fen damlalardan bir tanesi a\u015fk\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f olur; i\u015fte o, benim i\u00e7in ummanlara bedeldir. \u015eehid kan\u0131 kadar aziz g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131 i\u00e7inde nefesim kesilirken varl\u0131k s\u0131rr\u0131n\u0131 bana duyur. \u015eu karars\u0131z g\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fc doyur. Hicab\u0131mdan y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc saklamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fay\u0131m. Habibine g\u00f6r\u00fcnmek istemeyeyim. Pi\u015fdar\u0131m ve \u00e2li rehberimden ka\u00e7ay\u0131m. Sonra bir \u00e2li d\u00eev\u00e2n kurulsun. Ben z\u00fcl\u00fcfleri da\u011f\u0131n\u0131k, h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131klar\u0131 g\u0131rtla\u011f\u0131nda d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmlenmi\u015f, y\u00fcz\u00fc karalar\u0131n u\u011framad\u0131\u011f\u0131 o d\u00eev\u00e2na \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131lay\u0131m ‘L\u00e2 t\u00fc\u00e2hizn\u00e2’ kalkan\u0131yla huzura varay\u0131m. Kirlerime g\u00f6z yumup ‘bu da bizdendi’ desinler; dilenciye bir m\u00fclk ba\u011f\u0131\u015flas\u0131nlar. \u00c7\u00f6l yolcusunu sevindirip bir bulut ve bir meltemle imdad\u0131ma yeti\u015fsinler. Sevincimden orada y\u0131\u011f\u0131l\u0131p kalay\u0131m. G\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131m i\u00e7inde bo\u011fulay\u0131m! .. ‘<\/p>\n